My Journey Through Anxiety, CFS/ME, and Finding Healing

Anxiety has been a constant companion since my earliest memories, often leaving me feeling lost and uncertain about my place in the world. These feelings intensified as I grew older, leading to increased anxiety, depression, and dissociation during my teenage years.

At university, I pursued Event Management, a field that aligned with my strengths in communication, organization, and practicality. My deep love for music drew me to the concert and festival industry, and I aspired to be part of that world.

Initially, I thrived on the adrenaline rush of managing large-scale events, even running concerts for over 10,000 people. Being part of a team that brought joy and created lasting memories for music fans was incredibly fulfilling.

However, the events industry is notorious for its fast pace, physical demands, and lack of work-life balance. I frequently worked back-to-back 18-hour shifts, subjecting my mind and body to constant stress and sleep deprivation. My diet suffered as well, relying on coffee and sugar to sustain me through intense workdays.

In 2017, I experienced my first CFS/ME crash, although I remained undiagnosed at the time. I struggled with extreme fatigue, high stress levels, anxiety, headaches, back pain, and other debilitating symptoms.

From 2017 to 2021, I endured recurring crashes every six months, leaving me bedridden for weeks. Doctors repeatedly dismissed my condition as a series of bad viruses.

After each crash, I would push through and resume my demanding work life, ignoring the warning signs from my body. This pattern continued until early 2021 when I failed to recover from a crash. After three months of confinement to my bed, countless tests, and examinations yielding "normal" results, I was finally diagnosed with CFS/ME.

Seeking understanding and guidance for my recovery, I was met with disheartening news from doctors who told me I would have to manage this condition for the rest of my life. This devastating diagnosis, coupled with a lack of emotional support, plunged me into a deep depression. I isolated myself from the world and social media, overwhelmed by the challenges I faced.

After nine months of isolation, I yearned for connection with others who understood my experience. I reengaged with social media and discovered online communities discussing full recovery from CFS/ME using mind-body approaches. In December 2021, I enrolled in a course that covered brain retraining, internal family systems therapy, polyvagal theory, and trauma work.

The course resonated deeply with me, offering explanations for my illness and the symptoms that had disrupted my life. I realized that I had been ignoring my body's alarms, the signals that I needed to change my way of living.

I recognized how limiting beliefs, formed in childhood, had created a narrative of fear and unsafety in my mind. These constant background thoughts kept my body in a perpetual state of fight-or-flight, followed by a freeze state. This pattern became ingrained, my body's default mode, leading to a wide array of symptoms that initially made diagnosis difficult.

As I implemented the tools from the course, I began to see improvements. I was able to go on walks, a significant victory after a year of being housebound. Gradually, I increased my walking distance, carefully listening to my body's cues. My confidence grew, and I started reconnecting with my body and inner child.

While the initial months brought significant progress, I understood that healing from decades of fight-or-flight responses would take time. I remained committed to the process, knowing I had the tools, connections, and support to continue empowering my healing journey.

Today, I am fully recovered from chronic symptoms.

I have regained my life. I can walk freely without fear of post-exertional malaise. I run my own business, working full-time while prioritizing my well-being. I listen attentively to my body, creating balance and no longer sacrificing my health for work.

Drawing upon my own experiences and extensive training, I now support others on their personal growth journeys using somatic mind-body approaches. I understand the resistance, overwhelm, and disappointment that can accompany recovery. I guide individuals who feel stuck, helping them move through obstacles and providing support during challenging times. I offer understanding and guidance, having walked a similar path, lighting the way for others seeking healing and wholeness.

You can find all my qualifications here